Matt knows
by Hitsuiro Issa
Summary: I'm actually writing yaoi now. xDD MattMello, don't ask. I'm blaming it on the doujinshis I've read...so anyway, I got this idea from a movie I've watched. It's so sweet, and so...unknown. RxR please. Rated M for profanity and whatnot.


A/N: OMFG AT LAST I'VE WRITTEN A MATTxMELLO FIC. I didn't know there'd be a day- you know, with me all busy with exams and life and Light (cough), I never thought that one day I would give space for Matt and Mello. I'm glad I did, really. They're a fun pair to write about, and I can't help but feel fangirly whenever I see the two of them or L and Light. Oh gods, I need a psychiatrist. xD Anyway, Rated M for language and...Well, MattandMello-ness. Guuh. This story merely revolves around Matt; about what he thinks about Mello, etc. I wish I hadn't made him OOC. Oh well. I have a feeling that I should've read more MxM fics just to see if I wrote this right. Sigh. That's what reviewers like you are for. You know, to let me know if I did

well...or sucked. Okay, enough blabbering. RxR please. Thank you so much!

[EDIT: I should prolly explain this to you, since a lot had asked when I posted this story in a forum.

... still a part of a scene, but different time.

- End of a scene, beginning of another

That's all, I think. If you have any other questions, please tell me. PM me anytime, I always check my email for good measure anyway.

Oh, I dedicate this to a few friends of mine here in FFnet. Let's see...there's Natsumi-san, who I know loves yaoi fics the most so...this is for you! xDD And Cherryblossoms83, for being such a supportive reader, and J CAE, who was practically the reason why I had decided to join the FFNet community. Most of all, I dedicate this to my dear reviewers! Thank you so much for taking the time to read my results of crackpot-nism. x3

Disclaimer: I wish I could say that I own Death note and its characters, even the notebook itself, but as you can see, I don't. So leave me alone.

-

Visitor

-

The room is eerily quiet, save the tiny sounds of game music coming from a singular device, and he punches and presses the buttons almost angrily, his emerald eyes behind orange goggles intent on the tiny screen of his game. His hair is a flaming red, uncombed and all over his face, and his form is hunched, his elbows resting on his knees. The place was messy, unclean, and the only light that illuminates his face is from the gadget he is button-mashing on.

He had always lived alone after such a long time, ever since he had moved out from the orphanage- it is hard, he knows, to fend for himself without not sacrificing his games, but it is worth it. For all these years, he had remained low and silent- he didn't really want anything in life; all that mattered is the games he chose to play and accomplish.

His hand reaches down, the other still busy on his game, to take a cigarette stick from the coffee table before him. He places it in his mouth, lights it, and both hands are back to where they belong.

There is pounding on the door a few moments later, and he doesn't get it right away. Matt knows who it is- the unmistakable voice, though filled with pain- and the impatient banging and groaning of the door. If he didn't open it, his guest would knock it down anyway, but he isn't sure if the said person would do so right now- for he sounded worried, he needed help, and he is in pain.

Quickly Matt shuffles to his feet and walks to the door, pausing his game.

His assumption was correct; he had guessed right. Regardless of the scars and burns that now litter his usually pretty face,

it is Mello, wild-eyed and blond-haired and...Well, helpless.

Of all the things Mello is, it isn't helpless. So when he had opened the door to take a look at his friend, he is surprised, and worry quickly washes away his feelings of anger and annoyance.

"Mello? What the fuck happened to you?" he asks as the said man rushes in and collapses on the couch. Usually he'd get enraged when some other visitor would just walk in and do what he wanted, but this is fucking Mello, and he is fucking hurt.

So for once, he'd make an exception...half the reason because he did not want to die, the other because Mello is hurt.

A good few hours later, Mello is wrapped with bandages and his moans become less pained. That is good, for now Matt can resume to playing his game in peace. Or he needed sleep. Whatever it is, it could be done without any noise from his guest.

-

An excuse

-

Thirty minutes later, when he is already tucked in comfortably beneath blankets, he finds his blond visitor crawling onto the bed with him, and he sits up, surprised.

"You need to sleep, Mello." he says softly, careful not to arouse the blond's temper at such an ungodly hour.

"I can't sleep on the couch, Matt." is the reply, and emerald orbs meet the pair of blue. "It hurts...a lot."

Of course it did. He is a survivor from a bomb, damn it! The very bomb he himself had planted. So though he is alive, he is very much in pain. But Matt is happy nonetheless, for Mello had asked.

"Alright. I'll take refuge on the couch then--" he moves to leave, but quickly an arm extended to grab his.

"But you can stay with me," says Mello, and Matt returns the blond's gaze.

Sleeping with a man is out of the question- because Matt is straight, and he doesn't have any plans on getting a partner. But this is another case, a totally different one, and Mello is too injured to do anything physical at the moment. And this is

Mello; this is fucking Mello, to whom he had a soft spot for. Mello is his friend, and he pities the injured man lying on his bed.

"Okay." And he lies back down beside the blond.

-

Friendliness

-

Mello is mostly in bed, unconscious, or drugged to his brain with pain-killers and morphine. When Matt wakes up the next morning to find the blond still asleep, he leaves him be because he knew it'd take a day and a half for his guest to regain consciousness. So he leaves.

The next few days later, Mello had gotten his way back around the apartment, though usually complaining about how untidy the place was, and wrapped in blankets and bandages. Matt would always ignore him, just concentrating on his game, and the blond would then drown himself in alcohol and shove chocolates down his throat. He found that bit quite assuring.

He is more comfortable with Mello being a prat than being an amicable guest.

Because, besides not being helpless, Mello is not amicable. If he was, then that meant something was terribly wrong with him, or he needed something badly...after threatening it with a gun, scream profanity at it, show it some skin, try setting it on fire, blackmailing it, then ask in politeness.

This is Mello, and Matt knows.

-

Gone

-

Mello did not come home that night. He wasn't home the next day either.

It wasn't his business, it never was, so Matt ignores the fact and concentrated on his games. If Mello would never return, that would be alright. He could just pretend the blond had never come by at all.

But it was sad, for after such a long time of being isolated from the world, Matt had something to do, other than gaming. And now that something was gone...without even just a decent goodbye.

He couldn't deny the fact that he missed Mello, and he is worried.

And so...he waits.

The cigarettes are lighted one after the other, and games played after one was finished, and the hours passed and the time ticked...but Mello didn't return any sooner. He realizes at how stupid he was, and with an angered growl he stands from the couch and walks into the kitchen to get something to eat.

But he still believes.

No.

He knows. Mello would return. He wishes it to be.

So after he had stuffed himself with bread and cheese, he returned to his games and continued to pass time...just until Mello came back home.

-

Return

-

He found Mello the next day.

It was already 2 pm when he got up from bed. He felt so tired- it was amazing how he could even stretch his arms and yawn loudly. He needed more sleep; but something was different around the place, and he feared what he'd see beyond the door of his room.

It was Mello.

The blond is obviously drunk. He is sitting on the floor the way Lawliet would sit on a chair, telling his Ps2 about how annoying the strippers were at the bar he was in, and how inconsiderate they were to his hard-on. Beside him are the numerous bottles of vodka and chocolate wrappings.

But Mello was home (at last) and though he was insane enough to be talking to an inanimate object, he was back. Matt couldn't be any happier.

And for a while, he watches the blond from behind, lighting a cigarette stick and putting it in his mouth, inhaling deeply.

In his head, questions like "Where have you been?" and "What the fuck have you been doing?" spin around his mind, no matter how calm his exterior was. But he couldn't keep the smile from breaking into his face.

You're back, Mello.

I'm glad.

-

Need

-

"Matt, you do know that people need to bathe once in a while."

The addressee turns to look at his companion, slightly raising an eyebrow behind orange goggles, his thumb immediately pressing the button that would pause his on-going game.

"What are you implying?"

Of course he knows what Mello wanted to say. Though Matt wasn't as intelligent as Mello or Near or L, he knew his way around most people...especially this blond pretty boy before him.

"I'm just saying...I feel like I need a bath."

The blond says the last part a bit quickly, and Matt understands- Mello had never liked admitting things that he needed but never liked, because to him it was an abuse to his pride. 'Feel' was just a stupid excuse to hide the fact that he was needing something as trivial and unimportant as hygiene.

Matt grins, rewarding him a punch on the shoulder from his blond friend. Typical Mello.

"Then use the shower. It's not very cold, so I guess you'll be fine without a heater. I'll go get you some clothes."

"I can't take cold water!" Mello fumes, hunching his shoulders to make him look...like an agitated cat. "It's terrible. Besides, I don't think it will be healthy for my wounds."

Matt raises both his eyebrows this time, lowering his PSP a bit. "With all the skin you show off, I never knew."

The blond growls in response, shutting his eyes in anger. "Let's just find a goddamn bath house."

-

Heat

-

Matt had no idea why he agreed to Mello's suggestion. Sure the blond was a genius, but he was insane too. In fact, he was a lot more insane than he was at being a genius. No wonder Near always bags him, thought Matt.

That wasn't the only problem. The fact was that Mello is a good-looking guy, even with all those burns and scars, and if the blond wore clothes that showed at least two inches of skin below the vest unnerved him, what would the sight of a whole naked Mello do to him?

He couldn't even smoke a fucking cigarette. God, he needed one now.

"Matt, you've been awfully quiet lately. Is there something bothering you?"

Was it the air, or was he imagining things? Mello would never speak like that- nor would he worry about him. It can't have

been from politeness too- because Mello was anything but polite.

They are situated side by side, with Matt on the left, nearer to where steamed water escaped through a pipe and into the pool. It is mighty warm in the place- but they are both comfortable for outside the climate is cold. He turns his head just slightly, taking into view Mello's pale skin, the water just below his collarbone. There is ceaseless fluttering in his stomach now, and he knows, his face is tinted red, but thanks to the temperature, his expression is normal enough for Mello to ignore.

"Honestly, I'm okay. Why ask?"

"I was just...wondering." comes the expected reply, and he sinks a little further into the water, hiding the area below his nose.

There is an awkward silence that surrounded them both, and he is tempted to just burst out and do something stupid- and get a cigarette. He fucking needed a fucking cigarette.

"Matt."

He didn't realize it, but he had turned his head away, and his thoughts whirled around like crazy in his head that he had actually scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion- and frustration- and Mello had seen.

"Y-yes?"

Mello pulls from the water, showing his chest once more, and leans closer to the red-head, too close for comfort. Matt is aware that the blond is purposely breathing hotly on his cheek, and instead of turning the whole of his head to the side, he turns his eyes. They couldn't get any closer.

"I want to..." he inhales a deep breath."...drink. Yeah, I would like a good bottle of vodka."

Matt is bewildered, but he smiles.

"Alright then."

-

Here

-

It is amazing how much a person such as Mello could shovel chocolate after chocolate into his mouth at a single moment. Matt wonders if his cigarette smoking was as bad a habit as Mello's chocolate consuming. But truthfully, he couldn't care less.

Besides gaming, smoking is a way to calm himself after long stressful periods. And with Mello around, it usually is everyday.

But he, like his lungs, isn't complaining, so perhaps he is okay.

And Mello; insane, proud, vain, and brutal Mello, he considered the act of murdering multiple innocent chocolate bars in an instant a good way to get rid of stress. It was either that or drinking. Matt rather he'd just eat chocolate.

Because he talks when he's drunk, and he smiles when there is chocolate, and he speaks in such profanity that even I myself flinch from him. Because he is Mello, and I

He moves his gaze onto the blond wrapped in blankets beside him, and he smiles.

And I am here right now, alive and well, here with him. I am happy.

-

Jealousy

-

He shouldn't allow himself to get angry whenever Mello was gone, especially if the reason was 'to get freaky'. Mello doesn't

know, but Matt hates it whenever his blond friend gets laid by someone he doesn't know- that and the fact that sometimes, maybe just sometimes, Matt wants himself to be the one who'd satisfy Mello's need. Yet never did he point this out to his friend.

So when Mello leaves that night, already drunk to begin with, and Matt fights off the urge to just pin blondie down the floor. And get it over with.

But as always, he decides to forget everything about that and continue on with his life. Perhaps he should buy a new game tomorrow, then another box of cigarettes, and a bottle of Tequila. Yeah, that sounds nice.

A few hours later he hears someone opening the door and slamming it outside his room, and he knows that Mello is back. It was better like that than to what had happened before- and Matt has that hunch that it was for the same reason, though the blond hadn't said anything about the matter. He didn't need to.

The red-head stands, stretching. He had been lying on the bed for such a long time without getting to sleep- and that was stressful. But right now, he needed to know if it was just Mello who had arrived in his apartment. He leaves his room and finds the said blond sleeping on the couch. Or he is awake, with his eyes just closed. Whatever it was, Matt approaches him and sits by his side.

"Mello."

He ignores him, and Matt puckers his lips in a sort of a pout.

"Mello, you bitch. Wake up."

Blondie turns away, his hair spreading neatly onto the side. Angry, Matt grabs a fistful of golden locks and tugs the chocoholic to sit up. Mello complies quickly, anything to avoid pain in his head, but draws a gun from his pants.

"You're a prick, Matt. What the fuck do you want?"

I want to know where you've been, I want to know what you did and with whom you did it with. Is that too much to ask?

"Nothing, Mello. Don't you want to sleep on the bed?"

Mello grunts, his eyes half-closed. Matt hates it whenever his friend would lose himself to alcohol- but Mello's been like this for years, so there is nothing he could do about.

"I'm fine here on this goddamn couch, really. Why the fuck do you a--"

Matt cuts him off, immediately leaning forward and pressing his lips onto the blond's. He doesn't know what's gotten into him, but for now, this is way more important.

The red-head was panting slightly when he finally drew back, leaving Mello in a dazed stupor. Matt thinks he is better off that way.

"You go sleep on the bed now," says the game-addict, looking away. "I'm just going to buy some Tequila and waste myself for once."

Mello doesn't move, his blue orbs still wide in surprise. Matt sighs. If he hadn't kissed him, he'd probably be having some alcohol now and some smokes. Now he had to deal with this...awkwardness. But to his greater surprise, he feels something in his mouth, something that resembles a slug- but it isn't. It is Mello's tongue.

He hadn't been expecting, really- in fact, he thought he deserved some sort of pain from the blond, but it didn't come. All there is this ecstasy, and Matt closes his eyes as their tongues danced and teeth clicked and drool mixed in between the two hungry mouths.

They disengaged when both realized that air was needed to live. Panting, Matt stares at Mello, who was grinning in a sleepy way.

"You're...stoned."

Mello nods.

"Go get some sleep now. I'll see you in the morning-" he pauses, then looks at the clock, which read '4 am'. "When the sun is up, I mean."

Still with the nodding, but the blue orbs had already disappeared behind pale lids.

"Good night. Mello."

And with that, Matt leaves the blond to go buy some cigarettes and a bottle of alcohol. All the while, he is smiling.

-

Purpose

-

"...We need to bug Misa Amane's room. There could be good evidence there that's connected to Kira."

The words barely registered in his brain, he lights another fag and sticks it in his mouth.

"You do know she looks a lot like you. Heck, it's like you're sisters!" Matt observes, earning him a winding punch from his friend.

"That has nothing to do with it! Just listen to me. There's a big chance she could be the second Kira- Near said so."

Mello had practically blushed when he said L's successor's name, and Matt grins, still holding his stomach. He knows how the blond hated admitting Near was right- they've never gotten to be good friends, for Mello, being impulsive and proud and vain and competitive, had always vied against the said kid for number one.

No wonder he never became number one.

"Okay then," Matt says at last, raising both his arms in the air as if to surrender. "No problem."

He shouldn't have talked too soon.

This upcoming superstar was an air headed lunatic, not to mention that she proved useless to the Kira case. She didn't appear to know anything interesting about the said killer- she was just an ordinary woman, who seemed to be too full of herself.

Matt raises his head a bit when he hears her talk, saying some unimportant stuff to her companion whom she called 'Mochi'; but when he realizes her speech is, once again, useless, he turns his concentration back to his game. If only Mello would give it up- because if he heard one more time how worried she is for 'Light-kun' who seemed to not really care for her, or hear her complain about how she hated Takada Kiyomi so much for stealing her so-called boyfriend, he would explode.

It could happen any time now.

There is a cracking sound that fills the air, but he does not panic. He knows it's only Mello biting off another piece of his third chocolate bar. Even the blond sounded irritated with all this bitch-talking.

After awhile and more Misamisa talking, Mello finally cracks. He shoves the whole of his seventh chocolate bar into his mouth and hisses, "This is SHIT."

Matt lowers his hands along with his PSP. "Geez, Mello, I told you she's not it. She's too dumb to be the second Kira. We should see her," here he clicks the TV on, showing a woman with short dark hair talking about Kira. "She's our lead. We're just wasting time with Mello number two."

The blond hunched his shoulders, agitated. "She's not me; she doesn't even deserve to be called bitch number two! Besides, it's Near's idea, so he's the stupid one around here!"

"Near merely suggested it- hinted that MAYBE Amane-san was the second kira. You didn't have to follow his lead." Matt replies coolly, ducking just in time when Mello threw him an empty bottle of vodka.

-

Sex

-

He is drunk once more, and Matt isn't surprised.

Clad in only a towel wrapped around his waste, Mello sat together with Matt on the couch, with him chomping on another bar of chocolate, and Matt finishing his game on the PSP. Before them, there lay the various laptops and devices that beeped and made other sounds. The blond reaches for something behind the couch and opens the lid with a pop. Matt watches his friend from the side, his fingers still busy pressing and punching the buttons of his device mercilessly. After successfully opening the bottle cap, chocoholic dumps its liquid contents into his mouth, swallowing noisily.

"Mello, you should quit drinking." Matt says slowly, pausing his game. "It's not helping any of your problems, you know that."

Mello flashes him a dopey grin. "I know Matt, but it's alright. Why do you want me to stop?"

Why? Because when you are wasted, I don't know what to do. I feel alone, since you aren't yourself. Mello, I care. If you keep drinking, you'd never get the strength to accomplish what you need to.

"Well, it's a waste of cash. Chocolates are cheaper compared to Vodka, and you know that."

The blond throws his head back, laughing maniacally. Then he ends as abruptly as he had started, leaning a bit closer until

his lips grazed Matt's cheek. "What d'ya mean?"

The red-head sighs, putting his game down. "I mean...well, you're not yourself. Look at you! Are you the same person who kills fuckers and all? Even your face scares death gods- and that's saying something."

The last part sounds a lot more like an insult to the blond, but in his drunk state he does not retaliate violently...yet.

"Are you saying I'm ugly?"

Mello is anything but ugly, as much as he was calm and merciful and amicable. Yes, Mello isn't any of those.

"No, you're not. I'm just saying you kick serious ass." Matt grins. "But you're quite the ass, too."

He didn't know why he said that, but as Mello threw him a punch he was able to easily counter, he realizes that it was just banter. But Mello is an ass.

I like him that way.

They continued beating the hell out of each other for a while, but soon, Matt wins. What surprised him was what he was doing a few minutes later after his victory.

They weren't fighting, they were fucking.

And he liked it.

-

Fairytale

-

Matt lets his crimson locks graze his skin, bending his head down. There is a sense of foreboding that invades his senses, and Mello notices the tension in his friend. He himself could feel it- the dark gloomy skies, the silence, and the darkness around them; only to be illuminated by several beeping computers and the thin tendril of smoke that rose of from Matt's cigarette. Everything was a bad omen.

But they had sex, him and Matt. They had, so far, done what they had always wanted to do- so it wasn't much of a loss.

"Hey Matt, why don't we get some burgers and pizza? If you want, we can buy some chocolate and smokes, some vodka and tequila too."

If he wasn't going overboard, it didn't matter.

"Nah, I think we should lessen our food and alcohol consumption. How about just a pizza, a bottle of chocolate syrup, some cigarettes and a bottle of vodka?"

Mello grins at that. Matt has something in mind.

"Alright, I'm buying. But that means I'm seme."

Matt turns, locking eyes with the blond. "Eh? Really?"

Mello leans forward, capturing the red head's lips, the cigarette immediately dropping to the floor. He could taste the smoke in his mouth, grazing the inside cavern as his partner did.

That's a good idea. Thank you, Mello.

They break apart, heaving.

"I better go." Mello says, smiling at Matt. "I'm getting hungry."

This may be the last time we'd be able to do this. In fact, this may be the end. But I'm glad, because you had returned to me, you had returned my feelings, and here we are, preparing to have sex. Yeah. You and me, Mello. No Near, no Kira.

"Hurry up then. Someone's going to wait for you, you know." the red head says, returning the smile.

"I know." Mello replies, walking to the door. "He always waits."

And with that he left.

-

Owarimasu.

-

A/N: IT'S FINISHED! OO I'm so darn happy. I thought I'd never stop. But here it is, it's all over, I'm so proud! TT (Is overwhelmed with emotions . ). Waah. I'll make this short. Oh, see that button there? Reviews please. 3


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